Welcome to my Moonbox: a gathering of musings, learnings, and aspirations held (perhaps, sometimes only briefly) by the many expressions of me, Sarita.

From the desk:

our belly buttons press
the skin a whole feeling
blood of our thickness
holding room and world
news, lumped shoulders, napes of necks
everything is dying
leaves have crumbled
dirt roads are slick with winter
my eyes ache with all that is dimming
I close them, feel your belly with mine
as if embracing was the same as laying down
as if laying down wasn't the end
but the end has come
deemed rubble
buttons pressed as if they weren't
bellies of children
laying, laying, laying,
I cannot fathom the blood
I cannot render meaning
for a poem about war
for there simply is none

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Life updates: My brain, body, and soul have been restless. “The Holidays” have felt wrong for years, but this year was even more potent for me (unfathomable for those in Palestine). I’m done glazing over US Holidays as a status quo. I’m committing to reconnecting with the land and community-based roots of my life, and that means channeling the Winter Solstice instead of Christmas. That means National Day of Mourning instead of Thanksgiving. It means Dias de los Muertos instead of Halloween. Vernal Equinox instead of Easter. Summer Solstice. Indigenous Peoples’ Day. Latinx Heritage Month. On and on, I will only further embody this decolonization journey that I am on.

In my own small life, though, I am happy. January will arrive and I will embrace what I love all the more. What privilege. What joy. What conflict in the world. It’s hard to justify celebrating anything, truly. I don’t know where to place my despair at times. But that is why joy is so important, isn’t it? I heard a quote recently, about how grief is just love with nowhere to go, and I think this is why I still show up to parties or family gatherings that have to do with traditions I don’t personally celebrate. Why I’m still friends with people who are choosing, or have chosen, to have kids. Why I really consider spontaneous invitations. Why I’ve been ignoring the prices of better food (I mean, I can only despair so much without going insane)…

Obviously, the relationship is more important to me than any Holiday or, perhaps, even, my own righteousness. I’ll still say Happy Winter when prompted with a Merry Christmas, and I’ll always attempt to redefine and unlearn through my writing and reading. But, I’d rather find places to place my love than let grief and despair overwhelm my willingness to live. What a privilege. What a joy. To rest my belly against Patrick’s and feel him breathe. To wake up and have an opinion about anything at all.

[Related – In Brief, 2023: Suggestions]

La Vida Mundial:

The New Arab | ‘Jesus is born in the rubble’: Palestinian Christians redefine Christmas under Israeli war <– If you choose only one thing to read from my Moonbox Notes, read this.

Colorado Sun | A Navajo teacher is among the first Colorado educators to revive Indigenous language in the classroom

Kachina House | Native American Winter Solstice Traditions

[Related: Moonbox Notes: Oct/Nov]

HBD to all December birthdays.

Recent Top Pick Reads:

+ “This All-Girls Running Club in Kenya Protects Young Athletes,” by Sarah Gearhart, Outside Online, Dec 11, 2023. Gender-based violence statistics are alarming across the globe and this article discusses how, in the aftermath of the murder of a prominent Kenyan runner, another professional athlete Mary Ngugi created a club for young women to train, learn, and grow in a safe environment.

+ “‘Races are hosted on our land’: At the Twin Cities Marathon and beyond, Verna Volker wants to reclaim running as a Native tradition,” by Sheila Mulrooney Eldred, Sahan Journal, Sep 27, 2023. A wonderful article about how Volker has approached running and the associated community, how she spotlights her and others’ Indigeneity, and how running is a spiritual celebration.

+ “Running Through the Night to Confront the Darkness of Substance Addiction,” by Nicholas Triolo, Outside Online, Dec 6, 2023. How ultrarunner Yassine Diboun began an annual night run to support substance abuse recovery, and to be in solidarity with those who struggle.

+ “Strange Season: A whale in the rainforest, a house trapped in ice,” by Jessica Lind Peterson, Orion Magazine, Ecology Articles, Jan 31, 2023. A woven essay about the grips of winter, of a whale found in the Amazon, and about the cacophony of everyday life.

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Books/Mags in progress:

+ The Hundred-Year Flood by Matthew Salesses

Recent Listens/Watchings:

+ “Media: The Future of Narrative and Creativity in 2023,” Outside Online, YouTube, Oct 25, 2023. A media panel with Dr. Len Necefer, Sofia Jaramillo, Malik Martin, moderated by Chase Jarvis. I felt this panel was really great at getting to the core of what it means to be “future-facing,” and how BIPOC communities in particular observe and create inherently in this way.

+ “Mauricio Díaz on Vulnerability in Running, The Power of the Invitation and Building ‘La Familia’,” The Trail Ahead Podcast, Season 3, Episode 42, Oct 19, 2023. Mauricio (Mau), the co-founder and CEO of Aire Libre Running, discusses the playfulness of running, spirituality in running, and the inspirations that led to the creation of Aire Libre.

+ “A Pioneer of Echolocation for the Blind in ‘Echo’,” by Erin Neil, film by Michael Minahan and Ben Wolin, The New Yorker, Documentary, Dec 13, 2023. A short, touching documentary about blind advocate and instructor, Daniel Kish. He teaches independence, echolocation, and resiliency to blind youth in a society that is not built for them.

+ “Edgar Gomez,” BMI Conversations Podcast by Heidi Kyser, Nevada Public Radio, Episode 1, Oct 25, 2023. Gomez talks about what machismo means and how he broke free from such toxic traditions, about his memoir (High-Risk Homosexual), about pride, queerness, and Latinidad.

Writing/Projects: (updates are highlighted)

+I currently have one general submission in the ether: a short nonfiction piece entitled, “El Viento.”

+The hybrid essay/memoir I wrote in 2021, “Chuckwalla,” still needs some major revision and writing. I’m considering submitting it to the upcoming Graywolf Press work-in-progress competition, due to open Feb 2024.

+I have a Science Fiction novella that I’ve been slowly working on since 2017.

MISC/Brags:

• I turned 35 this month! Read my annual bday post – In Brief, 2023: Suggestions

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Thanks for tuning in to Sarita’s Moonbox.

Happy Winter!